Nita Langner touched many lives through her work at Jump-Start, the San Antonio Museum of Art and The Witte Museum. As board member, volunteer and long time supporter of Jump-Start, Nita leaves behind a great legacy. Please feel free to share your memories of her in our comment section.
There will be a memorial service for Nita at The Sterling Houston Theater at Jump-Start on Sunday, November 7, 2010 at 5 p.m.
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Before I met Nita I wanted to be her friend.
I can hear Nita’s voice in my head saying—“What’s this all about?”
Her dry-wit and funny stories made you smile, and made you think. Nita was a tireless volunteer for our beloved arts and cultural institutions and we will all miss her terribly. The image I carry with me is of Nita carrying the large stuffed camel mascot from the Witte’s Texas Camel Corps. May her new adventures be with her old friends who have gone before her– so they can check it out for the rest of us.
We all miss you very much Nita. You will be remembered with love and hope.
Nita was an inspiring woman. I knew her because she used to travel with my brother, Ian McCord, with the Camel Corps; this died when he did, but is well remembered. I have visited with her several times when I was in San Antonio. My home is in Cornwall, UK, so those visits have been only occasional. I loved her house and he fine collection of Native Art. We will all miss her.
I will always remember Nita for her gracious hospitality. She was the first one to offer her home for parties and then she prepared the most delicious food. She kept up with every play in town and was a great supporter of theater in San Antonio. She loved everyone connected with Jump-Start and we all loved her.
I will always remember Nita for her incredible home and folk art collection, her sweet voice, her appreciation of good literature, her love of theatre, her wit and intellect…I will always treasure my friendship with Nita, Gentle soul.
Thank you jump-start for giving us a place to share wonderful memories of Nita. I have a funny story that I will tell later.
I called her Neeter. She was one of my first friends in San Antonio, and I’ll never forget her friendship gesture when she took me to lunch as a welcome to the city. There was at least a 15 year difference in our ages, but it didn’t matter, because her vast interests, contemporary thinking, energy and enthusiasm made her ageless. Our particular common interest was around folk art. Now I know she’s one of those people in The Tipping Point who is called a “Connector.” She knew everyone because she was so involved and took time to know those around her in all her paths..
At Lani Ord’s, the night of “the gathering” to remember Nita, the hubbub of conversation swirled among her many friends from the assorted parts of her life, Camel Corps, Jump-Start, Birthday Girls, Book Group, Four Seasons Lunch Bunch, SAMA, Friends of Folk Art, Bazar Sabado and on and on.
People took turns looking through Lani’s trip albums from her many journeys with Nita and the Camel Corps and elsewhere with backdrops of deserts, pyramids and jungles. Her wonderfully funny article about buying a camel at the Pushgar India Camel Fair made the rounds. She was such a gifted writer.
Among the Nita stories one, in particular, I heard her tell showed how she could laugh at herself. During a New Year’s Eve dinner at some elegant place; a castle in Scotland,I think, Nita visited the powder room. She left it unaware that her skirt hem, in back, was tucked into her waistband as she sashayed through a sequence of dining rooms heading to her distant table. She described feeling so elegant all dressed up in a special candlelit historic place, until a waiter, with grand decorum, stopped her and said “Madam may wish to rearrange her skirt.”
Just one more memory. We know that Nita bowed out at the stampede to the Internet, email, and cell phones. Though she did have cable TV, her one nod to technology. I smile every time I recall her droll responseto the frequent phone company marketers “I don’t do bundles.”
Nita you are special and I’ll bet you are busy connecting with old friends and new.
I want to post a letter that Nita wrote me one time when I was feeling very hurt. I do not want this to seem self-serving (she says some very nice things about me). What this letter shows is Nita’s heart, sensitivity, brilliance and ability to analyze a situation. I will be eternally grateful for her words and her insight.
Jump-Start was having problems with some conservative protesters that were attacking our city funding. At a City Council meeting, some folks stood up and said some ignorant and nasty things about lesbians and gays. You can imagine what. I talked with Nita afterward and expressed my pain and frustration to her. Even though I was comfortable with my own identity, the comments brought back all the homophobia that I had experienced throughout my life and I was deeply pained. Nita wrote me this letter…
Dear Steve,
I am so sorry and upset that you are feeling so much hurt right now. I believe the reason you feel so deeply the effects of senseless criticism of Jump-Start, and by extension, your personal life and alliances with the gay and lesbian community is because you are so loved and respected by so many people. This may seem like a paradox, but this is how it works.
You have spent your whole life striving for love, respect and acceptance on your own terms. You finally feel you can be proud that you have succeeded. Your family loves you, your partner loves you, your many friends admire and love you, you have the respect of the community, and you are giving of your talents and creative spirit. You are living an actualized life and you feel good about yourself.
Then in spite of all your efforts, some hateful, right-wing, ignorant, “Christian” zealots “testify” before your own supporters and colleagues that you are not acceptable; that you should be rejected as a negative force to your community.
The paradox is that because you have felt such positive things about yourself, this sudden criticism is all the more hurtful. The dissonance this sets up is very painful even though your rational self tells you to consider the source of the criticism.
We have all been there sometime in our lives and we understand how you feel and how much it hurts.
It does not in any way change who you are. In the meantime, you will go on being loving, creative, responsible, talented, sensitive to others, generous, productive, respected and appreciated.
And we, your fans, will go on applauding and loving you.
Nita
I was told by one of Nita’s oldest friends that when she was young she was so physically beautiful that conversation seemed to stop when she came into a room. As a long time friend of Nita’s I believe that through the enjoyment of living her rich and generous life she became more deeply beautiful as she grew older. We who knew Nita are richer for it.
Richard Conn
Nita never was embarrassed to tell a funny story about herself. She told us she was on a trip to Mexico once and was thoroughly enjoying listening to a band. They played and played and then asked if anyone had a request. Nita raised her hand and said she’d like to hear “La Negra.” The band leader looked at her quizzically and said, “We just got through playing that one!”
When we heard from Nancy that Nita had passed away, Sam said “Nita loved life.” That was so true. She will be greatly missed.
Marion Zamora
NITA: FRIENDS, FOOD, DRINK & SONG
So many were the facets of Nita Langner and her joie de vivre, the way she embraced life so whole heartedly, that it’s just about impossible to narrow it to just one. But I will try.
During “the gathering” at Lani’s, talk turned to making an ofrenda to honor her at the annual Bazar Sabado this coming Dec. 11. Nita was part of SAMA’s Puebla folk art trip in 1986 when the Bazar was conceived. For almost 20 years Nita threw herself into helping organize it. Ofrenda talk naturally led to what should be on it, which, of course, led to her fave food and drink. And therein lies the bulk of this tale: friends,food drink, and I learned, Song, and Nita’s many occasions to celebrate with all in different ways with different groups and friends.
However, at the start, to avoid any wrong impression, allow me to mention that Nita was not a robust drinker or the sort to wind up under the table. She didn’t overdo spirits. What we all remember is that her good spirit joined heartily into the fun of whatever moment was at hand. As you will see.
On “gathering night” Steve Bailey, one of Nita’s many Jump-Start buddies, made martinis in her honor. At one point the crowd raised martinis and shouted “To Nita!” It turns out Nita’s enthusiasm for martinis at Jump-Start celebrations was part of their fond memories.
Betty Grandich brightened when she recalled that every Kentucky Derby day she and Nita would seek out a sports bar to watch the race and drink Mint Juleps. “We never had them in a silver cup, though,” she laments. So I asked her why they didn’t watch the race at one of their homes. “Oh, we wanted to be in a crowd where there was betting and cheering and all that noise,” she said, laughing at the memory. Are we getting the picture yet? With Nita involved, the cheering never stopped.
Betty gets a big laugh out of this next one. She and Nita loved the hot dogs at the San Antonio Airport. So every now and then they’d make an airport run just to eat hot dogs. The chuckle comes when they discovered their beloved tasty dogs were from Fuddruckers and they could have been going there instead and saved the parking fee.
Mary Locke Crofts, recalls “One year a bunch of us went to the symphony for Tom’s birthday. We met at the Gunter and had Manhattans. All of us did. And sang ”I’ll Take Manhattan,”and felt very New York. Another time we stood on the steps of La Fonda on Main and sang all the words, with Nita as the leader, of“Don’t Get Around Much Anymore.” So now we have Nita, food, drink AND song!
With Karen Weehler, it was Nita, prime rib, gin and tonic. They had that combo at least once a year at the Liberty Bar Nita told me with a chuckle. Karen says they shared the prime rib. We might assume the gin and tonic were individual.
I remember fondly that once when Nita was recovering from an illness I wanted to bring lunch and asked what she preferred. Her fave was the Summer Special from Adelante on N. New Braunfels. It was such a favorite that after that I knew it would be a hit.
Morgan Price recalls her favorite meal at Van’s on Broadway: orange beef with eggplant and garlic.
Anyone who ever took a local Camel Corps trip with Nita, where lunch was included, will remember the Camel Corps Salad that Nita made. This is my memory of it. Some people recall cheese, so if you do, let us know what kind. I’m pretty sure I remember corn in it, so here it is: romaine lettuce, mandarin oranges, whole cherry tomatoes, canned kernal corn, unsalted cashews, and chopped green onions tossed with Nita’s favorite La Martinique vinaigrette dressing.
I don’t know how our Book Group will function without Nita’s picadillo at our pot luck holiday dinner.
And I don’t know how our many shared groups will function now that Nita, our unofficial, but always stalwart, secretary, isn’t here to organize. Especially our December Birthday Girls dinners, with eight of us now close to 18 years of gatherings and many memories, and our nine in the Four Seasons lunch group, a Jacque McClellan creation. Before our dinner club morphed into the Four Seasons lunch-at- a-restaurant group, the hostess would provide the list of dinner courses and Nita would call everyone to organize who would bring what. None of us will ever forget the dinner on the wonderful starlit summer evening on the rooftop of Morgan Price’s apartment building. We toted the silver, china, crystal, linens, candles, wine and food onto the elevator and then to the rooftop. Nita, created and assigned the menu, and made the main course, duck a l’ orange.
We all know that Nita was a great cook. She could pull a tasty dish together without a recipe, and knew how to serve graciously while making her guests feel at ease. Another special evening I recall was after she was settled in her Argo house. For a dinner group gathering she had rented white tables and chairs and festive cloths so that we could all dine seated in style. I don’t recall what we ate, only that it was yet another memorable evening with food, wine, Nita and friends that will always linger in memory.
Nita rejoiced in whatever she did, and built special memories for all of us all around town. Nita, you are so missed.
I remember the evening at bookgroup when Nita told us of her fall after she had moved to the Argo house. The description was so vivid and the circumstances of not being able to reach the phone and having to crawl to her neighbor’s for help resonated with all of us who live alone. She showed us the medical alert alarm she wore around her neck from then on and encouraged us to take seriously what can happen when you least expect it.
She was always such a gracious host and I loved her folk art. Each time I was at her house, I’d see something I hadn’t noticed before.
I will miss her and her quiet wit.
Oh, the great memories from knowing Nita! The trips we took; once our tent blew away on the banks of the Rio Grande (was recovered), we had strawberries and creame on the banks of the River Thames, the shopping for masks and huipiles for Bazar Sabado, and the “walking” (or not walking)trip in Ireland. It was always such great fun, but even better to hear Nita’s account/descriptions later. And “December girls” won’t be the same.
It was always a cheerful day when Nita was around. I will miss her.
I met Nita on a trip to Pre-Columbian sites that was organized by Jacque McClellan, Merle Wachter and Helen Marie Hendry (whose intelligence and warmth we all sorely miss). On the trip we wandered by bus to too many places, some of which were quite remote and unknown to all us including our leaders, local guide and bus driver. Late one evening, our destination for the night was somewhere on the Gulf Coast in the state of Vera Cruz. Some of the group were desperate to find the place. Arriving in the dark, it appeared to be deserted but they turned out a satisfactory evening meal considering that the host had not been told we were coming. The rooms were less than adequate — really crummy would be more accurate.
The next morning, we could see where we were. It was adajcent to a lovely sand beach. I took a stroll and ran into Nita and her companion and once neighbor, Kaki (then) Murray who were also beachcombing. Nita told me that their room had no towels and they badly needed to shower. Nita asked how did I manage to appear so fresh that morning. I told her to take the sheets off the beds and use them as towels as I had done. Our standing joke, forever after, was did you have fresh sheets for your morning ablutions?
I first met Nita at the Climbing Bear, her small store on South Presa above the Riverwalk. It was a welcoming place because Nita allowed, no encouraged, play. She had great taste in toys and art and was always supportive of artists. Her generous and loving spirit will remain in the hearts of those of us who had the privilege of knowing her.
Of guacamole, kilts and an elephant
We have so many great memories of Nita it is hard to begin. Cathy first met Nita around 22 years ago and I a few years later. We met her through my brother, Ian, in connection with the Witte Museum’s Camel Corps, and had the great pleasure of her company on several of the Corps’ trips. She also seemed to be a part of almost every visit we made to San Antonio to visit family, and we were often invited to her wonderful home, enjoying Nita’s great hospitality and cooking. She made the only guacamole we both actually liked!
When visiting her home, you couldn’t help but admire the wonderfully eclectic collection of folk art acquired during her travels around the world. I know Nita must have enlivened many a trip to the far corners of the planet, and it was always entertaining to hear her story telling. Nita was a born comedienne who could make a story come alive without embellishment, just perfect comedic timing and her gift of setting the scene with her words.
Cathy and I remember her good company on a Camel Corps trip to Scotland in 1991. New Year’s Eve in Edinburgh was one of the most enjoyable events we spent with Nita; it seemed to be an evening of non-stop laughter and fun from beginning to end, as our many photos attest.
Another memory highlight was when my brother, Ian, and I shared an elephant’s back with her in Chitwan National Park in Nepal sometime around 1990. Although the wildlife was stunning, especially the white rhinos, the indelible memory is of the three of us laughing hysterically as we were bounced around in whatever that basket is called on the elephant’s back. I hope the fourth passenger found it possible to forgive our immature behaviour.
If Ian were with us today, first and foremost he would want to add his appreciation of her great friendship, but we know from all he said to us that Nita was an absolutely invaluable part of Camel Corps, cheerfully helping him with any and every task. Nita was also an important part of my mother life; I remember lunch at Earle Abel’s with Nita and Lani was something Mom always looked forward to.
Nita, thanks for the friendship and the memories which you gave us all.
Nita was my “second mother,” a life-long friend and soul mate. Our relationship changed as I grew. My grandparents bought a house on Sheraton Drive, across from the Langners. That’s how we met. First she was my friends Tim and Melanie’s mother. Our parents all hung out together and I thought Nita was very cool and much more tolerant than my mom. I guess that’s always the case. Then, I remember Nita decided to get her degree, later in life, at St Mary’s U. I think it was in Political Science. Anyway, she got right in the thick of things socially and politically. She had her renaissance there and, in my opinion, that’s when she became the Nita that we all knew.
I left town after graduating from high school and didn’t really come back until the late 80’s. During that absent period, Nita opened a very unique toy store downtown on the Riverwalk called the Climbing Bear. My mom was a silent partner with her. Yvonne Woods had a hip vegetarian restaurant next door and Alan Stehling managed an upscale antique and international folk art store called La Sirena. Nita, Yvonne and Alan and I would go to happy hour at Mario’s Restaurant when it was down by what is now the UTSA Downtown Campus. Everyone at Mario’s knew them and they regularly held court there. It was a fabulous time.
When I moved back to San Antonio in the late 80’s I called Nita and she took it upon herself to make sure I was properly introduced to her San Antonio “society.” We did lots of stuff together, we were partners in crime! She showed me how to never pay to get into a performance – by volunteering to usher. I met Bill and Fay Sinkin that way at a piano concert at Temple Bethel one night when a piano prodigy from Russia was playing. I got to be good friends of theirs, as I did with most everyone Nita knew. Then, her wanderlust kicked in and she became my equivalent of Auntie Mame. She lived life like a debutante. You go girl!
November 1, 2010
I remember when I got to know and appreciate Nita’s wonderful sense of humor.
We were on a trip to Chiapas. Nita’s roommate was Mary Fleet and their room was next door to Lani and me. All rooms had sliding glass doors that opened into a very large central courtyard. The nights were beautiful and the four of us had a discussion as to whether or not we would be safe from intruders if we slept with the doors open.
The night passed quietly and peacefully.
The next morning, Nita came into our room with a disappointed look on her face and said, “We left the door open, but no one came!”
With much love,
Betty Grandich
Nov.2,2010
As told to me by Nita:
“When I decided to continue my education, I went to St. Mary’s to become an English major. In looking for the English Dept.,I got lost and wandered into the Political Science Dept, saw a big picture of Che Guevera on the wall and my life was changed forever.”
First met Nita when she had The Climbing Bear, a magical toy store. While they are ubiquitous now, Jelly Bellies were not when Ronald Reagan was president. Nita’s shop was the first one in San Antonio to carry them. I mentioned that The Climbing Bear stocked the President’s favorite candy in a Rio Ramblings column in the Express-News, and suddenly her shop was filled with conservative San Antonians. Nita enjoyed the sales, but I was always amazed she didn’t actually bite off her tongue as the Jelly-Belly-buyers raved about Ronnie.
Nita and I went to countless plays, foreign films and museum exhibits. Many, many years ago I asked her if she’d like to go to Washington, D.C. for the Treasure Houses of Britain exhibit, and so we went. Neither one of us had much money so it was my bright idea to stay at the “Y.” It was ghastly – dirty, the rooms were boiling hot and you couldn’t open the windows, and the communal showers were awful. Nita never complained. The exhibit was huge and wonderful and we had a great time. Looking back, I think life for Nita was one adventure after another. I’m only just beginning to realize how much I will miss her.
Marion Zamora
I had a dream about Nita 3 days before she passed away and a person in the dream came up to me and told be she was gone. I remember telling myself I never got the chance to tell her what a wonderful women she was, how she always was very kind to everyone, helping her at SAMA with wrapping nativities at Bazaar Sabado, and her throwing many parties in her wonderful home filled with immaculate folk art. I know she will be very missed by everyone, and by me.
I remember when I got to know and appreciate Nita’s wonderful sense of humor.
We were on a trip to Chiapas. Nita’s roommate was Mary Fleet and their room was next door to Lani and me. All rooms had sliding glass doors that opened into a very large central courtyard. The nights were beautiful and the four of us had a discussion as to whether or not we would be safe from intruders if we slept with the doors open.
The night passed quietly and peacefully.
The next morning, Nita came into our room with a disappointed look on her face and said, ” We left the door open, but no one came!”
With much love,
Betty Grandich
Nita Langner is my best friend and I am having a hard time thinking of her as not being here. We met more than 38 years ago and although at the time she was a woman in her mid 40s I thought she was much much younger. She was striking and very beautiful and had the sweetest personality. My children just loved her and even though they are now in the mid to late 40s they have been calling me to reiterate their fond memories of Nita. Nita and I had a special relationship that grew out of our days as students at St. Mary’s University. We experienced many of the changes of the early 70s to mid 80s together. Most times we attended St. Mary’s events together. Our friends knew if you saw one of us the other was near by. Also when we were younger we attended and experienced as many of the San Antonio cultural and fun events as we could take in. Nita and I liked to party and sometimes when I could not find a baby sitter for my daughter Fran, we would simply take her with us. I remember fondly the summer of ’83 when for a period of about 3 weeks we attended, nightly, every San Antonio Festival event we could to include Ballet Folklorico De Mexico,the Oscar Wilde play Salome, Giselle by the Berlin Ballet,and Sarah Vaughn to name just a few. It took a couple of weeks for us to rest up from all that fun.
The last time I saw my friend was on October 9. She was her warm and caring self right up to the end. Her next birthday would be on 21 December and I shall miss not being able to make my customery call to wish her happy birthday.
I loved Nita so much and I knew she loved me. She was my mother’s best friend. Some of my fondest memories I have of Nita was going out with her and my mother to different places while they were students at St. Mary’s University. One time I was about 9 years old and we were leaving the St. Mary’s Oyster Bake. I had a bunch of balloons with me. I kept rubbing them against my shirt and one popped. Nita fell to the ground proclaiming ” I have been shot “. Of course she was kidding but as a kid I did not realize it. Then she bounces from the ground with laughter. She was so fun and a true friend to my mother. Another instance of her kindness occurred one winter it was really cold and we did not have heat at our home. Nita told my mother to take us – me and my brothers to her home till the heat was fixed. Nita was not home at the time and left the front door open for us. The mark of a true friend. As I got older, I looked forward to visiting Nita and finding out what good books she was reading. About a couple of years ago, I was visiting with Nita and she was talking about one of the books she had just finished reading. In the book there was a New Orleans style funeral. We started talking about how it starts out slow and then suddenly picks up with When the Saints Come Marching In – by this time Nita had slowly made it to her feet expressing how people should party at a funeral. No sadness. She was always a wealth of information. I loved talking with her and spending time with her. She was such a gentle soul and I will miss her. Francesca Keith
Nita,
I first met you, not surprisingly, at a party being held at your house, It was the early 1970′s. We were students at St. Mary’s. You were, as always, an excellent hostess to the throngs of people at your house that evening. Folks were all over your house — from the basement to the top floor. I believe I was kind of a ‘bring along’ at that time with Charlie Cotrell. We became friends over the years. What has always struck me were your gentle eyes and your gentle smile.
Fast forward almost 30 years and you are hosting a little party for just a few of us — Charlie and Abbie, myself and Cindy, Otis Madison and his wife — just in from California for a visit. Again, the gracious hostess — this time the beer didn’t flow as strongly and there weren’t strange herbal smells wafting up from the basement from folks enjoying themselves there like I remember in the 70s. However, we had a wonderful time, and you were once again the creator of a place for people to gather.
Not long ago some of your friends, including me, met for lunch to celebrate one of our friend’s (I think it was Abbie’s) birthday. You had become much more frail; but your witty comments, and your gentle eyes and gentle smile were still intact.
I’ll miss you, my friend, with the gentle eyes and the gentle smile.
Tom Hoffman
On behalf of the family of Nita Langner, I offer our humble gratitude for all the kind and gracious words her many, many friends have brought to this tremendous forum.
I was 7 when I first met Nita, she was my Step-Mother, and from the very first moments of our summer visits from Wisconsin, she was totally generous, loving, and most of all completely filled with an unlimited amount of Unconditional Acceptance. Three new faces, ages 6,7, and 8; left with her care as our father went to work.
She asked me one day if I’d like to bake a pie. I responded that I’d never made a pie. “We’ll do it together; let’s go get all the stuff we need at the store”. That was the beginning of a wonderful chapter, an amazing sparking, starting a life-long fire of a creative Spirit in me. She let me loose in her kitchen for pies, cakes, helping her with her amazing lasagne,
putting fresh game in the oven and having it come out in amazingly scrumptous dinners, always from scratch.
Years passed, and I would hitch-hike in from Austin with a term-paper due the next Monday.
We’d both sit at the table in the dinette, her on one side, me on the other, both of us working at finding words to weave together into amazing documents. And that was just the hand-written versions. Then we’d commence to typing, each of us w/ little electric type-writers, clacking away and using the same spool of the magical yellow correct-tape that saved having to goo everything up with the white-out. Her papers were all so esoteric, so profound making some point of connection in the Political Science major she had. Mine was in Cultural Anthropology. We’d read them to each other when we finished, totally satisfied with our creations.
Nita touched many souls; her Unconditional Acceptance of all my friends, and their friends, and as I see all of you, was her special gift: putting at ease, calming the fears, drying the tears…
I know she knows all of this, sees, hears, loves all of this, and she knows that she has left us all in the good hands of the Creative Spirit of Acceptance she was graced and blessed with to pass on.
Nita, thank you for your life with us.
We miss you,
Love,
Danny.
Nita always spoke her mind and her mind was astonishingly deep and open to possibilites. And yet Nita was also so grounded. Nita infused the Witte Museum with an air of expectation and excellence. She expected the best…She was devoted to Ian McCord and to the Camel Corps at the Witte and some day,we will reprise that excellent travel program, more modestly no doubt, but still inspired by Nita’s worldly persona…Marise
Thank you for always being there in the audience for me and for so many of us. I especially thank you for coming to “I’ll Remember For You.” Know that we will all remember for you. You will never be forgotten! You will be missed.